Kite

I pity a Colleague.
Just found out that being in a relationship is just like flying a kite?
So much for having so many ex-es but realizing it only now.

Either you are the Kite or the PersonFlyingtheKite.
Knowing that, the Kite does not fly on its own.
You will need Wind to help it fly as well.

Now, my questions are...
Do you know what Wind is?
I do.
How STRONG is the Wind?
Can you handle it if the Wind becomes something terrifying?

Wind does not only refer to one thing.
It is a few things that make up Wind.
Ponder upon it.

Just a random thought, agree or disagree, I care less about what you think.
My thoughts, my words.

-=iNa=-

Dear...

... You.

The song you posted should be posted by me instead.

The one who got left behind.
The one who is broken.
The one who sees no more hope in IT.

The said song with the phrases...
'Baby, I love you so much.
Baby, you hurt me so bad.'

-=iNa=-

Sleep

Did not have a very good sleep for the past few nights.

Started on Friday night, after outing with the guys.
Got back around 0430 hrs on Saturday morning.
Had to be awake by 0900 hrs for Family Day.

On Saturday night especially.
Went to bed early.
Did not want to be tired for the games the next day.

Unfortunately, I woke up 3 to 4 times that night.
I wondered if it was THAT familiar feeling that had me waking up.
Warm but very scary at the same time.

Totally gave up sleeping when it was almost 0530 hrs.
The time I was supposed to be awakened.
By 0615 hrs, I was on my was to breakfast.

How early is that?!
ON A SUNDAY!
I must have lost it.

Again on a Sunday night.
Just that this time, once I was woken up around midnight, I did not try to sleep again.
Kept myself awake until I was very sure my body and soul could not resist it anymore.

After 0600 hrs today, I was knocked out.
Was late for my facial appointment.
Super terrible me.

Really can not stand myself for sleeping during facials.
This session was by far the worse I went through.
I was DREAMING while I was sleeping (which never happened before).

Sigh, YOU appeared.
Not something that I want to recall.
Only flashes of the dream stayed, the rest I'm trying to block it out.

Let us all pray that YoursTruly will have a good sleep tonight.
I still want to go ahead with my plans tomorrow.
Please be cooperative, ok?

-=iNa=-

=(

I seriously don't get it.

=(

You deleted all the albums of us together.

What about those on your profile picture?

WE are still there.

Just so you know, I will not delete any of our albums together.

I'll just make it private, much more private than it was before.

All because it is still part of me.

A part where no one else is able to reach.

-=iNa=-

Hungry ~*~

Ma was watching the TV earlier and I was reading my iBook.
Out of the blue, I looked up from the mattress that I was sprawled on and said, "Hungry!"
Ma told me to go cook the vegetables.

I looked up to the clock.
Without thinking, "It's only seven, still early."
After that sentence left my mouth, "What?! Seven already?"

Laughed and went to close the front door.
I think I am going insane.
How to get through tonight, at work?

Let's hope my iBook will keep me addicted or at least occupied.

-=iNa=-

Suffer

I just realised how suffering it is to be missing someone and not able to tell them, 'I miss you'.

Especially when they are just... there.

A phone call, a text message, a train ride, a bus ride away.

='(

-=iNa=-

Seriously?!

Everyone usually post New Year's resolution for their first post.
Not me.
Refer to post below.
Different ey!
=D

Oh well, 2010 ended badly for me, so is the start of 2011.

The last two days of 2010 was crap.
People would be out with their close ones and celebrating countdown to the new year.
How did I go about mine?

On the 30th, I was supposed to be on shift in the morning.
Took my temperature before leaving the house since I feel lousy.
38 degrees C.
Still went to work hoping it would come down.

Reached locker room.
Started to cough like crazy.
Oh I was already voiceless when I woke up by the way.
Went to see the company doctor.
Confirmed down with fever and swollen throat.
Sent back house to rest for 2 days.

Had to cook my own porridge because parents was on holiday and brother was in school!
What shitty luck!

31st, just another sick day.
Stayed home, parents came back.
Countdown in the comfort of my own room.
Saw fireworks from the living room.
The only satisfaction.

Start of the year, still coughing.
Now is already the 5th day of the New Year!
Guess what?

Fever fluctuating up and down for the past few days.
Thought I got it settled when I popped 2 pills of Panadol Extra last night.
I was feeling all smiles except for the cough this morning.
I was really glad that fever and headache left.

BUT fate decided to play tricks on me later in the evening.
It took away my voice, whereby even my sister-in-law told me my voice was worse than the last time she met me.
Which was during the weekend!
Not only my voice did it took away, it added in a pain to the abdomen, read period.
Also, a pain to the left nostril, backache and a swelling gum.

Along with the swelling gum, FEVER!
Yes, a 37.8 degree C fever which I foresee would be on the rise as the pain is excruciating.
I AM SUFFERING AS I AM TYPING OUT THIS ENTRY!

WHY IS THE BEGINNING OF MY NEW YEAR SO %^#$%%^@%&@!

Sigh.

-=iNa=-

Selfish?

How great would it be to be cuddling in the arms of your other half and just enjoying the company.

I wish you were here.
Maybe, I wish I am where you are.

If only words could describe how much I am missing you right now, it could just go on and on and on.

Would really love to see you.
But I know better.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Was that not what you were doing?
I shall go along.

If, I REALLY mean IF.
If I were to have your kid now, rest assure that you will not know of his/her existence.
Because you choose to leave and I accepted it.
He/she will be mine and only mine.
I will decide to have them or not.
Which most probably I will allow them to come into this world.
Call me stupid, selfish, whatever.

I sound dumb typing out all the IFs anyway.

Urgh, I do not like this kind of empty feelings, sudden flow of emotions, mood swings, whatever that you want to call it.

As much as I want to say, 'I hate you, I hate you, I hate you'.
I know it is a lie.
A very big lie.

-=iNa=-