Selfish?

How great would it be to be cuddling in the arms of your other half and just enjoying the company.

I wish you were here.
Maybe, I wish I am where you are.

If only words could describe how much I am missing you right now, it could just go on and on and on.

Would really love to see you.
But I know better.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Was that not what you were doing?
I shall go along.

If, I REALLY mean IF.
If I were to have your kid now, rest assure that you will not know of his/her existence.
Because you choose to leave and I accepted it.
He/she will be mine and only mine.
I will decide to have them or not.
Which most probably I will allow them to come into this world.
Call me stupid, selfish, whatever.

I sound dumb typing out all the IFs anyway.

Urgh, I do not like this kind of empty feelings, sudden flow of emotions, mood swings, whatever that you want to call it.

As much as I want to say, 'I hate you, I hate you, I hate you'.
I know it is a lie.
A very big lie.

-=iNa=-