Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Seriously?!

Everyone usually post New Year's resolution for their first post.
Not me.
Refer to post below.
Different ey!
=D

Oh well, 2010 ended badly for me, so is the start of 2011.

The last two days of 2010 was crap.
People would be out with their close ones and celebrating countdown to the new year.
How did I go about mine?

On the 30th, I was supposed to be on shift in the morning.
Took my temperature before leaving the house since I feel lousy.
38 degrees C.
Still went to work hoping it would come down.

Reached locker room.
Started to cough like crazy.
Oh I was already voiceless when I woke up by the way.
Went to see the company doctor.
Confirmed down with fever and swollen throat.
Sent back house to rest for 2 days.

Had to cook my own porridge because parents was on holiday and brother was in school!
What shitty luck!

31st, just another sick day.
Stayed home, parents came back.
Countdown in the comfort of my own room.
Saw fireworks from the living room.
The only satisfaction.

Start of the year, still coughing.
Now is already the 5th day of the New Year!
Guess what?

Fever fluctuating up and down for the past few days.
Thought I got it settled when I popped 2 pills of Panadol Extra last night.
I was feeling all smiles except for the cough this morning.
I was really glad that fever and headache left.

BUT fate decided to play tricks on me later in the evening.
It took away my voice, whereby even my sister-in-law told me my voice was worse than the last time she met me.
Which was during the weekend!
Not only my voice did it took away, it added in a pain to the abdomen, read period.
Also, a pain to the left nostril, backache and a swelling gum.

Along with the swelling gum, FEVER!
Yes, a 37.8 degree C fever which I foresee would be on the rise as the pain is excruciating.
I AM SUFFERING AS I AM TYPING OUT THIS ENTRY!

WHY IS THE BEGINNING OF MY NEW YEAR SO %^#$%%^@%&@!

Sigh.

-=iNa=-

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Selfish?

How great would it be to be cuddling in the arms of your other half and just enjoying the company.

I wish you were here.
Maybe, I wish I am where you are.

If only words could describe how much I am missing you right now, it could just go on and on and on.

Would really love to see you.
But I know better.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Was that not what you were doing?
I shall go along.

If, I REALLY mean IF.
If I were to have your kid now, rest assure that you will not know of his/her existence.
Because you choose to leave and I accepted it.
He/she will be mine and only mine.
I will decide to have them or not.
Which most probably I will allow them to come into this world.
Call me stupid, selfish, whatever.

I sound dumb typing out all the IFs anyway.

Urgh, I do not like this kind of empty feelings, sudden flow of emotions, mood swings, whatever that you want to call it.

As much as I want to say, 'I hate you, I hate you, I hate you'.
I know it is a lie.
A very big lie.

-=iNa=-

Friday, December 31, 2010

Girls / Ladies / Women

"If a girl understands your bullshit, sticks through your mistakes, smiles even when you have done nothing for her, it is obvious, she's a keeper."

Quote from an acquaintance, with some slight adjustments.

Who agrees?
I do.

To add on, to the quote.

"When the girl gets hurt, she will never be the person that she was before.
Never."

Sad ey?

-=iNa=-

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Yes or No?

If the only thing left for you to do is count on your instincts for survival, would you choose to follow it or abandon it?

I do not like having bad feelings following me around.

Bad feelings, please go away so that I can stay calm should anything happens.

-=iNa=-

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Journey back

Went clubbing very often these few weeks.
I know, very naughty of me to do so.
But since it is the last month of the year, why not?

Last time for me to 'visit' the places that we went.
Last time for me to drink what ever I please.
Last time for me to let it all out.

I'll be good when the new year starts.
Plan my route and move on.
Built the wall and be on guard to defend.

The drive back after the latest clubbing session snapped me back to Earth.
With the windows wound down and the wind blowing against my face.
Words exchanged was stored, processed and thought through.

I realize that I love him, a lot.
Yes, 'love' without the '-d'.
But at the same time, I have to, I need to, I want to move on.

-=iNa=-