Girls / Ladies / Women

"If a girl understands your bullshit, sticks through your mistakes, smiles even when you have done nothing for her, it is obvious, she's a keeper."

Quote from an acquaintance, with some slight adjustments.

Who agrees?
I do.

To add on, to the quote.

"When the girl gets hurt, she will never be the person that she was before.
Never."

Sad ey?

-=iNa=-

Yes or No?

If the only thing left for you to do is count on your instincts for survival, would you choose to follow it or abandon it?

I do not like having bad feelings following me around.

Bad feelings, please go away so that I can stay calm should anything happens.

-=iNa=-

Journey back

Went clubbing very often these few weeks.
I know, very naughty of me to do so.
But since it is the last month of the year, why not?

Last time for me to 'visit' the places that we went.
Last time for me to drink what ever I please.
Last time for me to let it all out.

I'll be good when the new year starts.
Plan my route and move on.
Built the wall and be on guard to defend.

The drive back after the latest clubbing session snapped me back to Earth.
With the windows wound down and the wind blowing against my face.
Words exchanged was stored, processed and thought through.

I realize that I love him, a lot.
Yes, 'love' without the '-d'.
But at the same time, I have to, I need to, I want to move on.

-=iNa=-

Pop

Pop!

It has come to a point where I have to knock down the remaining pieces of what is left.
So that I can rebuilt a new structure.

A point where I have to cut open the wound again.
So that I can sew it back to fully close it.

The structure will never be the same as the one torn down even though one tries to make it similar.
The wound will leave a scar no matter how hard one tries to hide it.

If you cannot understand whatever I have typed out, it is fine.
I am just rambling.

Please come back to me, Smile.

-=iNa=-

Time.

Last Sunday, went shopping, Dora and I talked.
Family, friends, relationships.

One thing that can't seem to leave my mind since that Sunday.
"Hard to imagine you with someone else."

Coming from a loved one.
I felt the same way.

I'm not having an easy time.
Somehow, seems like he's not having it either.

How do I break it to them that it's no longer there?
Especially when they thought that we could last.

-=iNa=-

Chat

Had a chat with one of the colleagues earlier.
Chat until I wanna cry but STRONG lady managed to hold it all in.

I have always thought that I would have settled down and have kids before I'm 30.
But things happen and plans have to be put on hold.

I really want to be able to move on and not being held back.
It just seems so hard to do so now.

News spread like wildfire.
Trying my best to keep my composure but once I'm alone, all the front that I have been putting on, breaks.

Every time the topic comes up, I pretend nothing happened.
Just like earlier, pretended like it was just like before.

I guess I'm just slowly trying to accept the fact before making others see it.
Making it easier for me?

Maybe.
Guess I'm just letting time pass so that when they find out about it, it'll be long over and it'll die down faster.

Happiness, smiles, cheerfulness, peace.
Please come back to me.

-=iNa=-

Last few...

It's the last few minutes of my DoubleTwo.

Being on the 22nd floor, in the room 2222, will only happen once in my lifetime.

On a king-sized bed i'm sitting, as I type, enjoying the piece of cake that was complementary.

CSI of all versions playing on the set.

As the day ends and I rest for the day, the thought playing in my mind, "Tomorrow will be a brand new day, it will get better from then on. Amin."

-=iNa=-

Hours left...

It is only hours left till my big double two comes along.
A lonely one this year.

Just two months ago, someone was asking how I would like to have it celebrated.
Can't help but feel down every time I think of it.

Trying to lift my mood up.
Listening to Fireworks by Katy Perry the whole day.

Will be out the whole day tomorrow.
Will not be back till Monday.

Going to make myself disappear tomorrow.
Hopefully I'll be able to come back a better person.

-=iNa=-